it's a sunday.

i started this blog more than half a year back because my ex-girlfriend broke up with me. i needed something to channel my anger and helplessness, and thus this blogging business began. as time passes, i began to pen more about my life, my thoughts and feelings, rather than my past relationship.

somehow i realised that alot of people are reading this. i donno. perhaps is because of the linkings from my friends' sites, or maybe you just found this on google. it's a scary thought that people i know are reading these without me actually knowing that they are doing so. internet is a scary place, but why do most of us still spend so much time online? and why am i writing all these?

there's no answer to why we cant always get what we want in life, but i guess everything happens for a reason and for the best of it.

for the past few days i've been nursing a bout of flu, which is near-end with just a strain of light coughing remaining. i'm back riding the red 'kit-kat' bike, it feels so so so much better than my giant. the pedalling, the shifting, the accleration, the ride is just so so so smooth. i guess i wacked the rides a little too hard, overtrained a little and making me vunerable to the flu virus.

oh well.

tour de france just started early this week. it's the 8th stage today. it's so sad that everyday there's an early breakaway, but they always got chased down at the last minute. i mean. they worked the hardest during the stage, probably only a handful against a whole peloton of over hundred riders. dont't they deserve something? just like juan antonio flecha's breakaway group during stage 5 or 6, they worked so hard. i knew flecha wanted to win. i wanted him to win. i wanted to see him do the archer salute again. but he didnt. he tried hard and wacked with 6km to go without the rest of the breakaway group. but he ended up gobbled by the chasing peloton with 1km to go.

first week of racing is full of crashes. they reported about half of the peloton have bandages on their body. they crash just like nobody's business. that day there was this crash by this gerolsteiner rider, crashed right into a barrier at high speeds of 60-70kph and causing a pile up. everybody blamed him. but hell, i wouldnt even want to think of that.

broken rids, fractured bones, broken collarbones, sore back and knees. i was a runner back then. i knew injuries were part and parcel because running is an impact sport. i thought cycling wasnt. besides the overuse of knee if you push hard gears too much. but imagine 60-70kph slam right into a barrier? that makes cycling a real impact sport huh.

i've been chasing tdf abit. reading live reports, stage results and pictures on cyclingnews.com and i often query why they are all doing all these. 20 days of racing, covering average 200km a day. that's hell. i could even survive with the tour of egat back in april with 4 days with a total of 500km, and the pros are doing like 8 times what i'm doing with even scarier climbs!

i love riding on the hoods. i love riding past. i love pushing myself to the limit that my lungs and legs hurt like hell. they only make me stronger. i love riding in the front of the peloton and pushing at high speeds, and the old generation riders will complain im putting the hurt on them.

i love to do breakaways on my own. attack from the far lane of the road and go on my own. looking under my shoulder to check on the chasing pack. looking right ahead hoping that i could just last that much more until they catch up. one day i'll be able to do it successfully. i'll get stronger.

i want to recover fast and get back on the bike fast and ride fast.